I know there are a lot of ladies out there who read the blog who are in college or are going to college as a freshman this August. This is such an exciting time! You are planning your dorm room, finalizing things with your roommate, picking a major, going to orientation, and pinning every college tip you can find on Pinterest. As fun as college can be, there are also some scary downsides that come with it and being a female, we unfortunately are targeted the most, especially as freshman.
I am going to talk a little truth in this post about some potentially scary stuff but I promise you, it'll be worth the read and it will help you in the long run. According to Campus Safety, one in three sexual assaults occur when the perpetrator is intoxicated and anywhere between 20 and 25 percent of women experience some sort of sexual assault in college. Those are some pretty chilling numbers. I'm going to be honest with y'all -- yes, I go to college parties. Am I out Thursday through Saturday every single weekend?? Absolutely not. There have been plenty of times I opted to stay in for a night or two or go home for the weekend but, I do like to go out with my friends and have a good time every now and then.
College parties are a thing and I never went to parties in high school so on the first night of college, my suite mates and I got all dressed up and headed out to a party and I had no clue what to expect. It was definitely more intense that I had expected. The first one I went to, I was home before 11pm and called my sister so upset because I literally didn't know how to be safe or how to prepare myself. I was so lucky that I have sisters to call and ask for help and express my concerns to during my time of confusion but I know not everyone has that support so here are some great rules to remember when going to a party at college.
1. Put nothing past teenage boys -- I'm not saying every guy is a jerk and is completely horrible -- please don't think I'm bashing college men as a whole. Please keep in mind however that there are some boys at college who just want to hook up with a girl and move on. They are slimy and gross and don't care about the girl whatsoever. Don't trust a boy at a college party as far as you can throw them...I'm being totally serious. Stick to your girlfriends.
2. Leave the dorm with a game plan -- Before you even set foot in a sober ride, Uber, Lyft, Cab, or begin walking to greek row plan out exactly what you're doing and where you're going with your group of friends. Make sure that you keep an eye on one another and have one another's backs. Just be aware. With so many people in one little room it's easy to loose one another. If you have to link arms to get through crowds of people, do it. Make sure you stay together and look out for one another. If someone adds on or leaves your group make sure you don't just ditch them and that both you and your friend are on the same page as to what the next step in the plan is whether it be her leaving the group and joining someone else, or you both leaving to go home.
3. Never leave for a party without a full battery, extra cash, and a full stomach -- All small things but, very important. One, charge your phone if you know you're going out. This is so important! It can get scary if you are in an uncomfortable situation and can't reach someone to help you. Make sure if you leave the house that you also have extra cash on you. This is in case you need food, need to pay for a ride back to campus, or just get in a situation where you need some cash. I always kept a $10 bill with me just in case. Finally, never leave the house on an empty stomach. If you do choose to drink alcohol, you need to make sure you eat something to avoid getting sick. It will be better for everyone if you eat something, I promise.
4. Wear comfortable shoes -- Unless it's your birthday, a semi-formal, formal, or super special occasion I would advise you leave the heels at home. You're going to be walking everywhere and dancing and standing all night long and you'll be happier in sneakers than you will be in heels. I have a trusty pair of slip on sneakers that look great with jeans and a cute top and that's pretty much what I wore 95% of the time.
5. Don't be afraid to leave -- If there ever is a situation where you feel uncomfortable, you should leave as soon as you can. Whether you feel overcrowded, unsafe, out of place, or something is sketching you out if you feel that you need to go, then go. Your friends will understand. Also, if your friend ever feels as if she needs to leave, go with her and don't let her leave alone. Make sure she gets home and help her out. Never feel embarrassed to leave a party, your safety is the most important thing.
6. Always think of the consequences -- If you do choose to drink remember that it's illegal. I know the freedom of college is great and yeah, everyone around you might be doing it but just know that your college town has police and they can and will bust most parties on the weekends. They will show up and make everyone evacuate the house. You might walk one foot away from a officer and he can easily stop you and arrest you and that's going to be an embarrassing conversation with your parents. If you can't handle your alcohol, don't drink. Just be smart. If you are at a party that gets busted, pull yourself together, , stop talking, and just walk.
7. Don't accept random drinks -- GIRLS! This is so dangerous!! Never ever accept a drink from a random person at a party. Everyone might by dancing around drinking from red solo cups but that doesn't mean yours is the same as everyone else's. This goes back to rule number one, don't put anything past teenage boys. Most of the time, these drinks are harmless but unfortunately there are some sick people who mess with drinks. Accept closed cans, or just pour your own drink. Keep it with you at all times, and take it everywhere with you. Just keep an eye on your drink.
Ladies, I don't want to think that parties are these scary and terrifying things but I wanted to share a few truths with y'all so you can prepare for them and make them the most fun they can be. Parties are fun but they can be scary so when you're not prepared.